Who Take Credit For Indian Government UGC Grants to AMU?

We’ve all had that experience where we work really hard on something and instead of getting recognized for our contribution, we have to sit there and choke back bile when someone else takes credit for the work. It’s infuriating to think about how hard you worked and how much effort you put into a project only to see some other glory-hound or charlatan pass all that effort off as their own.

Heck, I got a taste of that this week. I saw a bunch of traffic going to a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/#!/syed.a.rizvi.963) a self-proclaimed “Management Thinker, HR Guru, and Educational Coach” telling his fans stories about recent additions of new Department of Pediatric Surgery, Department of Cardiothoracic Surgery and Department of Neurosurgery to JNMC (Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College) at the Aligarh Muslim University (AMU), Aligarh, India.

The bottom line is; it sounds like Sleaze Boy (or “S.B.” for short) needs a developmental talking. If that isn’t in the cards, you’ll need to put some effort into thinking about the SB yourself. Think – AMU is an Indian Government Central University, which gets its financial budget proposed by Indian Central government and approved by the Indian Parliament.  A single-handed person draft will be approved by Ministries of Indian Government for a major academic institution in India???

Don’t Put Sleaze Boy In His Place

Don’t contradict him! At best, you’ll embarrass him and he’ll work behind your back to bring you down. At worst, he’ll turn out to be an amoral psychopathic monster who will work behind your back to bring you down with a chainsaw. That would be bad.

Instead, use the comedy improvement technique called “Yes, and…” His remarks are offering you a new reality. Join him. “Congratulate him with others for getting additional academic departments approval for the AMU,” he says. Ok, pretend he’s right. And be the absolute soul of contrition while you clearly define roles and responsibilities so he gets to take full responsibility for his—and only his—contribution.

Get a calm, curious frame of mind by thinking about things that make you curious. Like why politicians all wear exactly the same suit and solid color ties. Approach Sleaze Boy--I mean, Sincere Boy--with a genuine attitude of warmth.

CYB: Cover Your Butt Behavior

You’ve probably noticed this is a lot of trouble. It’s all CYB (cover your butt) behavior. It accomplishes nothing useful except preserving Sleaze Boy’s extra-ordinary-claims behavior (a.k.a in Urdu or Hindi; ChhooRo-pan.)

Are you thinking what the heck am I talking?  Oh, below is a copy from Facebook (with my comments in red) 

1.

Syed Ali Rizvi

September 20

ALIGARH September 20: The President of India, in capacity of the Visitor of the Aligarh Muslim University has approved the creation of three new departments in the Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College
The newly created departments are Department of Paediatric Surgery, Department of Cardiothoracic Surgery and Department of Neurosurgery.
AMU Registrar, Group Captain (Retd.) Shahrukh Shamshad said that on the recommendation of the Academic Council and the Executive Council, the University Court had approved for creation of these departments of studies in the Faculty of Medicine and sent the proposal to Ministry of HRD for Visitor’s approval.

(This was a news from Indian press-media and AMU Press release.  What is your contribution for which you are taking “congratulations for your contributions” from people who are unaware of facts?  BTW:  current AMU VC, Mr. Shah initiated the approval for these department from Indian government.  Where do you fit in the scene, except posting the news then accepting compliments?)

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o Tanvir Salim and 26 others like this.

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Syed Imad-ud-Din Asad Congratulations!!!

September 20 at 3:28pm · 1

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Syed Ali Rizvi Thanks

September 20 at 3:36pm

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Pratibha Shah Congrats!

September 20 at 9:49pm · 1

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Lubna Kazim congratulations. wonderful progressive AMU

September 21 at 2:00am · 1

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Nusrat Haider awesome grt

September 21 at 4:16am · 1

o

Pappu Khan Congratulations :)

September 21 at 9:10am via mobile · 1

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Syed Ali Rizvi Thanks everyone for your kind comments and appreciation.

September 23 at 12:55am

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Kumkum Pareek Malik this is a landmark step for the university!

September 23 at 11:17am · 1

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Syed Ali Rizvi Thanks Kumkum Pareek Malik. I am particularly excited as I was a member of a global pool of alumni who wrote the report on these Centers. This report was accepted in totality by the AMU administration and implemented as such. A small step, but a long way to go.

September 23 at 11:05pm · 2

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Meera Subramaniam Congratulations

September 23 at 11:17pm

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Syed Imad-ud-Din Asad Ali Bhai, ya'ni is kaam main aap ka bhi haath tha :-) .... I first came to the States in 2006. Since then I have seen you constantly devote your time and energy to Aligarh's cause. Absolutely commendable!

September 23 at 11:57pm · 1

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Manju Sheth Congrats

September 24 at 6:51am · 1

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Syed Ali Rizvi Thanks Meera Subramaniam, Syed Imad-ud-Din AsadManju Sheth for your words of appreciation and others for "liking. I have a deep passion for my alma mater and continue to do what I think will positively reinforce its name and fame and provide benefit to the thousands of students that come each year. I dedicate this shere, that I recently heard at our Mushaira to my alma mater..JahaN Rahega waheeN roshni Lutayega, Kisi chiraag ke apna makaaan nahiN hota..(The light of knowledge illuminates all minds without ANY bias.)

(What AMU Centers had to do with Medical College new departments addition and your role?)

Wednesday at 10:37pm · Edited

Author: Suhaib Siddiqi

Top 5 Things You Need to Know Before Marriage

Ten years ago, when I just got engaged there was a lot of excitement in the air. It was a love-marriage and we looked forward to being able to live together under the same roof, every single day. Finally, the date that we had been waiting impatiently for rolled around. The wedding was fun. The honeymoon was even more fun. And then we happily settled down into the actual state of marriage – to live happily ever after.

When I look back now, I realize that there are just so many things no one told me about what it’s really like when the honeymoon is over. This article therefore has been written with the view that for all you starry-eyed matrimony-minded hopefuls out there – you have the right to know what to expect after marriage. So here are – in no particular order – the top 5 things that I wish someone had told me before marriage…

1. It’s a Pretty Quick Shift – and it Ain’t Always Pretty
You go from a time when you’re much at your best, together on romantic dates, wooing each other – to the sudden reality of actually living together. It’s not an easy transition. The mundane chores, the sharing of a bathroom, the regular ‘normal’ stuff that you go through each day, now in close quarters with another person – brings out sides of your new spouse that you didn’t know existed. Heck, it brings out sides of YOU that you didn’t know existed. It can be a pretty disturbing whirlwind of change, but being able to see it coming may perhaps help you deal with it better. By the way – in case you believe you’re immune to this because of your kind and compromising nature, congrats! (And also, ha ha).

2. It’s a Balancing Act – and a Setting Stage For Later Years
You may be the dominant, confident type. Your tendency is therefore to try and change the other person when there’s conflict. After all, you’re kind of – let’s say – perfect, right? Mama always told you so. To ensure a speedy resolution to the issues at hand, you therefore try and show your spouse the various errors of their ways and upbringing. For a while, it looks like it’s working! But be warned – these things come and bite you in unexpected places and at unexpected times. Being the bully doesn’t work for long. (Trust me, I know). Similarly, if you’re the more ‘peace-loving’ one, it’s easy to overdo the whole sacrifice gig – but what you’re really building is a foundation of resentment that is bound to boil over at some stage. The early days of your marriage are a critical time to try and find the right balance. The closer you can get to equal footing, the better – and this comes primarily from understanding yourself and staying away from the extremes of either being dominating or dominated. But in all likelihood – it is going to happen, to some extent.

3. You May Find Yourself Going Underground For a Bit
This is not only something that I’ve gone through personally but that I’ve observed in almost all my friends who pretty much disappear from their erstwhile social circles for a year or two after they get married. Probably due to the fact that you’re adjusting to your newly married state, you may end up losing touch with some of your friends for a while. The good news here – your more solid relationships endure (with some effort of course); and again, you can probably guard against a general tendency if you’re more conscious about it. And these days, thank heavens for Facebook too, at least you’ll be reminded to wish your best friends a ‘Happy Birthday’. An important thing to remember – it’s always worth making an extra effort to maintain those close friends. It’s not only that they were there first – it’s also good for you two to have that occasional break from each other. It’s the more healthy and sane thing to do, really.

4. Suddenly, it’s Not Just The Two of You Anymore
Sounds obvious, right? But this has nothing to do with whether you’re living in a joint set-up or far, far away from the parents. You’re now entering each other’s families, at the very least on an emotional level. The degree of this of course depends upon how closely-knit the involved families are, but the fact is that there are now likely to be multiple points of view on the same things. It’s unlikely to become the Saas-Bahu-Serial-kind-of-scenario, but the fact is the two different families that you’ve grown up in  – no matter how ‘similar’ the backgrounds – are different living, breathing units with different belief systems, ways of operating and communicating and functioning -and in some cases, having arrived at their own unique dysfunctional equilibrium. The two of you have to manage your newly-emerging differences as individuals, but there may also be complexities caused by the newly-combined Family with a capital F. That’s okay. The key here is to remember that they all really do love you and that’s where the ‘Hume Kab Good News De Rahe Ho?’ comes from. Another key is to try and move to Australia, if you can. (A joke, but also not a bad idea). The real good news here is that after a while, you’ll grow into the newly-acquired Family and have more souls to love. Keeping that in mind may help a great deal.

5. Finally – This, too, Shall Pass
You’re on a journey of not just discovering another person in totality, but it’s also a journey of self-discovery. This means that the initial tumult includes the uncomfortable growing pains that accompany any learning experience. But time has a way of sorting things out, and the important thing is to remember that, grit your teeth and try and go with the flow as much as possible. Even if things aren’t always pleasant – chances are they will settle down into a far more comfortable relationship later.

- Contributed by Yashodhara Lal

(Yashodhara Lal is a graduate from IIM-Bangalore, with over a decade of marketing experience. She is also the author of the new book ‘Just Married, Please Excuse’. You can read sample chapters from the book on www.justmarriedpleaseexcuse.com. To visit her blog click here and you can find her on twitter too – @yashodharalal)

Misconceptions and prejudices about arranged marriages

January 4, 2011

http://notachance-thestory.com/blog/2011/01/04/misconceptions-and-prejudices-about-arranged-marriages/#comment-2572

I was watching a video by a very talented artist from Ninjabi.com the other day. It presented me with the usual argument: very traditional parents who want their daughter who has been born and raised in a Western country to accept an arranged marriage. All they’re concerned with is whether she will be provided for adequately. She on the other hand has no such wish. What was really interesting to watch was the style in which it was presented. All hand drawings. Very similar to the video I did for a Herpes Virus awareness campaign.

She added it on frame by frame and it worked really well. The only problem was that it did not add much to the information most people already have about arranged marriages. Granted, she is from a traditional family that is orthodox in its beliefs, but the same cannot be said for every Indian and every Pakistani on the planet. It greatly surprised a few people to listen to the interviews on the front page of the website because they didn’t realize some young Indians in Australia and around the world are quite happy to let their parents choose a partner for them. They’ve been brought up in and out of Indian communities around the world, they’ve grown up in the West, they’ve been educated in the West and given the opportunity to date. Yet they still want parental involvement when it comes to choosing a partner. This is also what intrigued me.

Growing up in the seventies, in Central America, I believe in self-determination. Completely, but when it comes to choosing a suitable partner, I’ve discovered that a pesky little thing called hormones gets in the way. It seems almost irrational to other cultures that we should allow such an important decision to be taken solely on the basis of feelings. This seems to be the reason why these young people are looking to tradition for stability and guidance. They don’t want to abdicate responsibility, rather they wish to share it with others who they believe have their best interests at heart.

It is also why they see matrimonial websites such as shaadiconnections.com as viable alternatives or hybrids of dating and arranged marriages.

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